The Life of a Twenty-Something...growing up.

Life and Death

Yesterday evening at approximately 10pm…my beautiful aunt passed away and left behind her five children.  I have tried so hard today to be strong for her babies, for her family, for my mother, I don’t know how to mourn.  My way of mourning is writing this here

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For those of you who don’t know her, she will be remembered as a mother to five beautiful children, khala to many nieces and nephews, and puppo & chachi to many more.  I grew up with her children; I remember her even before Sana was born; all family functions were spent with her.  I don’t recall a single event where she wasn’t there.

I remember when Sana was obsessed with horses, when chubby-cheeked anam was a big germaphobe that her mom told us that if she sees lip marks on a glass she turns it around to sip from the other side.  I remember the immense pride she had bringing Kashif home, her first born son, that October evening.  I remember the anguish she felt when she accidentally burned Iqra’s hand on the humidifier, and how sad and upset she was for doing that.  I also remember her taking care of her baby Sajid, her youngest, always hand-feeding him, always making sure he was alright.  He was hospitalized three years ago, and that was the most upset I saw her.  Her passion was her family; not just her five children, but her nieces and nephews.  I remember all the birthday parties and Eid parties at her house and all the times we were at her house just to hang out.  She never once told me I was doing something wrong, and I think I appreciate most her positive outlook on life and her unconditional love for her family.

I remember the home that Sana was born in; and the house where Anam was born in—-that was the house where in the backyard these little black things would fall from the trees.  I remember Kashif and Iqra were both born in the West Covina house; it was a beautiful home with a Jacuzzi.  Iqra hated going in that Jacuzzi; she would cry even if we put her in her little floatie.  The four of them would always watch Barney, and I admittedly joined them.  I would spend so much time at their home, and she treated me like I was her own.

The house they currently live in is where they brought up Sajid.  Sajid is his mother’s little angel.  I remember her always in her shalwar kameez, sweater vest over it, walking around her house.  She was always, always looking out for her children.  I remember most of my childhood was spent in her home; playing with Sana, Anam and Saara, and she had no complaints watching us while my mom was at work when it was summer.  She was just always there.  Sana and Anam are like my little sisters.  I yelled at them for being bratty when I was younger, I made fun of Sana when she spoke only urdu when she was like 3 (sorry), I bugged the crap out of them when I went to their house, I made them over in red lipstick and made them try on my-size Barbie’s wedding dress.  We have fun memories that transcend beyond Barbie’s and makeovers; just being at family parties and spending some New Year’s Eves at their home was just fun.  Now that we’re older, we have such a great relationship because we’re all on the same level of understanding and they just have this wonderful positive outlook on life that I think is unparallel to anyone I know.  Those girls make me so incredibly proud.  Their parents did the best job; they have such big hearts masha’allah.

Fauzia Khali was the first person to show up if somebody was sick, the last person to leave your party after insisting on helping to clean up.  She was just so selfless, and I hope I can be just like her.  Her husband loved her so much too…his life revolved around making that woman happy, and may God give him peace and strength during this time.

I think the hardest part about this is, just knowing she can’t be there with us anymore.  She won’t be at our weddings, she won’t throw us our dolkhis.  She won’t share in the joy of meeting her son-in-laws and her grandchildren.  May God give her children strength.  May God accept her in heaven.